The death of a marriage is an extremely devastating occurrence. The range of intense emotions experienced as a result, can turn lives upside down and tear families apart. Divorce can also be a very confusing time. Even though a marriage may have been bad and both parties looked forward to terminating it, yet, typically, when the end comes, there is no escaping the pain and loss experienced.
This is so because ending a marriage means letting go of shared commitments and dreams, sometimes after many years. Hopes for the future have been dashed and this can lead of feelings of failure, inadequacy and profound disappointment. With all of these extreme emotions being experienced, most of them negative, this time can be one of the most difficult in the live of an adult.
A break up can mean uncertainty about the future, loss of friends and other close relationships. Being bombarded with so much at one time can even mean a loss of identity for some divorcees. After many years of life as a spouse, having friendships as a couple together and living in partnership with another person, being left to stand alone can be frightening. The future is in doubt and stepping out into the unknown can be intimidating.
Fortunately, there is life after divorces. The recovery process is difficult and challenging, but with effort and determination, life can become good again. A good way to begin is by acknowledging all the feelings of anger, loss, frustration confusion, anxiety and sadness. It is normal to feel this way and in order to heal, it is necessary to first feel. Grieving is integral to the healing process, and regardless of how painful, it does come to an end at some time.
Close friends are a lifeline in the aftermath of this difficult time. Having someone to talk to and share the multiplicity of emotions is extremely cathartic. It helps in abating the pervasive loneliness. A good friend who listens and does not judge or criticize makes all the difference. Using a journal as an outlet for expressing and releasing pent up sensations works also.
Having just divorced, socializing and meeting new people is certainly not a priority. Well intentioned friends may encourage getting out to the bars or setting up blind dates. The same objective can be achieved much more tastefully and graciously by taking up a hobby or volunteering. Support groups are also a wonderful alternative, for they put fellow sufferers in direct contact with each other.
For new divorcees, any failure to perform responsibilities and commitments at optimum level is expected and understandable. Becoming divorced can sap a person of the will to perform and productivity on all fronts may drop. Beating up on oneself achieves nothing. Perhaps the recovery process may even be accelerated by cutting back and providing oneself with time to heal and reenergize.
The temptation to succumb to the rollercoaster quagmire of emotionalism which characterizes Ontario Divorce is always great. Anger, resentment and blame all have their place and should be faced and experienced as part of the healing process. However, overexposure to negativity can sabotage the best attempts to move forward. Too much reflection on the downside can become an unhealthy habit. Turn instead, and face a bright future fraught with fresh, new opportunities.
This is so because ending a marriage means letting go of shared commitments and dreams, sometimes after many years. Hopes for the future have been dashed and this can lead of feelings of failure, inadequacy and profound disappointment. With all of these extreme emotions being experienced, most of them negative, this time can be one of the most difficult in the live of an adult.
A break up can mean uncertainty about the future, loss of friends and other close relationships. Being bombarded with so much at one time can even mean a loss of identity for some divorcees. After many years of life as a spouse, having friendships as a couple together and living in partnership with another person, being left to stand alone can be frightening. The future is in doubt and stepping out into the unknown can be intimidating.
Fortunately, there is life after divorces. The recovery process is difficult and challenging, but with effort and determination, life can become good again. A good way to begin is by acknowledging all the feelings of anger, loss, frustration confusion, anxiety and sadness. It is normal to feel this way and in order to heal, it is necessary to first feel. Grieving is integral to the healing process, and regardless of how painful, it does come to an end at some time.
Close friends are a lifeline in the aftermath of this difficult time. Having someone to talk to and share the multiplicity of emotions is extremely cathartic. It helps in abating the pervasive loneliness. A good friend who listens and does not judge or criticize makes all the difference. Using a journal as an outlet for expressing and releasing pent up sensations works also.
Having just divorced, socializing and meeting new people is certainly not a priority. Well intentioned friends may encourage getting out to the bars or setting up blind dates. The same objective can be achieved much more tastefully and graciously by taking up a hobby or volunteering. Support groups are also a wonderful alternative, for they put fellow sufferers in direct contact with each other.
For new divorcees, any failure to perform responsibilities and commitments at optimum level is expected and understandable. Becoming divorced can sap a person of the will to perform and productivity on all fronts may drop. Beating up on oneself achieves nothing. Perhaps the recovery process may even be accelerated by cutting back and providing oneself with time to heal and reenergize.
The temptation to succumb to the rollercoaster quagmire of emotionalism which characterizes Ontario Divorce is always great. Anger, resentment and blame all have their place and should be faced and experienced as part of the healing process. However, overexposure to negativity can sabotage the best attempts to move forward. Too much reflection on the downside can become an unhealthy habit. Turn instead, and face a bright future fraught with fresh, new opportunities.
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