When someone you love and trust cheats, it can be the worst time of your life. There is a good chance that any relationship will never be the same. Yet, if you both truly wish to stay together, you can try to work it out. Here are some tips on understanding how to survive an affair.
Forgive and Forget
You will have to find it in your heart to forgive this person. However, this can take a long time to occur, but you need to forgive, or your relationship may be doomed. When you hold resentment inside for a long time, it can fester over the months and years. This pent up resentment will eventually find an outlet, and it may ruin your relationship.
Knowing the Real Reasons
You must know the real reason for the current situation when trying to get over an affair. Do not settle for any simple answers, and dig much deeper into the discussion. Once you are certain what the reasons are, you are then better able to deal with them. For example, a one night stand encounter may be easier to forgive, as there is no emotional attachment.
However, there is also the possibility that your spouse has a long term relationship with someone, and this can sometimes be very difficult. If your significant other is emotionally attached to someone else, you cannot have a successful marriage until that attachment is broken. It will take more than stating that it is over, as this person has already violated your trust.
If you decide to take him or her back, you have to set specific guidelines in the beginning. If your partner sees this other person one more time, all is lost and you are leaving. You must be willing to stick with this, to keep your self respect. If you ever tolerate it again, you may have a miserable existence.
One of the most difficult scenarios is cheating out of spite or revenge, as this situation may be doomed from the beginning. Even though two wrongs never make something right, you share equal blame with your partner. This will take a great deal of discussion and perhaps professional guidance.
Issues That Involve Trust
Do not expect trust to suddenly return and everything will be fine. Remember that you may never trust this person again. Make sure that your significant other knows that you have the right to change your mind and nullify the reconciliation. This may not seem fair, but many people feel that it is what cheaters deserve. Give yourself all the time you need for the emotional wounds to heal.
Summary
If someone cheats on you, it is important to know the real reason why. This will determine the best strategy for dealing with the problem. A one night stand may be easier to deal with than a long term affair. You must set specific boundaries on issues of trust, and he or she must know that it will never again be tolerated. You may eventually be able to forgive and trust this person, in the future. However, you may decide to change your mind and leave, so give yourself that option in the beginning. These tips may help you learn how to survive an affair.
Forgive and Forget
You will have to find it in your heart to forgive this person. However, this can take a long time to occur, but you need to forgive, or your relationship may be doomed. When you hold resentment inside for a long time, it can fester over the months and years. This pent up resentment will eventually find an outlet, and it may ruin your relationship.
Knowing the Real Reasons
You must know the real reason for the current situation when trying to get over an affair. Do not settle for any simple answers, and dig much deeper into the discussion. Once you are certain what the reasons are, you are then better able to deal with them. For example, a one night stand encounter may be easier to forgive, as there is no emotional attachment.
However, there is also the possibility that your spouse has a long term relationship with someone, and this can sometimes be very difficult. If your significant other is emotionally attached to someone else, you cannot have a successful marriage until that attachment is broken. It will take more than stating that it is over, as this person has already violated your trust.
If you decide to take him or her back, you have to set specific guidelines in the beginning. If your partner sees this other person one more time, all is lost and you are leaving. You must be willing to stick with this, to keep your self respect. If you ever tolerate it again, you may have a miserable existence.
One of the most difficult scenarios is cheating out of spite or revenge, as this situation may be doomed from the beginning. Even though two wrongs never make something right, you share equal blame with your partner. This will take a great deal of discussion and perhaps professional guidance.
Issues That Involve Trust
Do not expect trust to suddenly return and everything will be fine. Remember that you may never trust this person again. Make sure that your significant other knows that you have the right to change your mind and nullify the reconciliation. This may not seem fair, but many people feel that it is what cheaters deserve. Give yourself all the time you need for the emotional wounds to heal.
Summary
If someone cheats on you, it is important to know the real reason why. This will determine the best strategy for dealing with the problem. A one night stand may be easier to deal with than a long term affair. You must set specific boundaries on issues of trust, and he or she must know that it will never again be tolerated. You may eventually be able to forgive and trust this person, in the future. However, you may decide to change your mind and leave, so give yourself that option in the beginning. These tips may help you learn how to survive an affair.
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For additional advice on getting over an affair, go to http://GettingOverAnAffairYourHusbandHad.com
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