The two of you don't see eye to eye on very many topics and, truth be told, you never did. You were always attracted to each other, enjoyed each other's company well enough, and early on even managed to make each other happy at times. But you never really agreed on many fundamental issues.
Nowadays there are but three things on which the two of you can positively agree. One: your marriage a decade ago was naive and ill-conceived. Two: you love your kids beyond words. Three: as it stands now divorce is unquestionably the most viable option for everyone involved, including your kids.
It was quite a long time coming and the topic didn't shock either of you when it was finally brought up. What DID surprise the two of you was just how upset the kids were when you separated. In retrospect, you realize just how foolish you were to think that they would take the news with the same sort of resigned acceptance as you did. Let's be honest, they weren't the ones who were unhappy, for you and your husband made a very happy home for both of them.
Now both of you are desperate to get through this as quickly and painlessly as possible for the sake of the kids. Your best friend went through something like this a few years ago; she and her husband opted for what she called a "collaborative divorce." You know very little about New York divorce laws but any scenario that will make it easier on the kids is worth considering.
## Exactly what is collaborative divorce?
Divorce in New York can be pursued by way of either traditional or collaborative means. Traditional divorce has been pictured a thousand times on television and in movies; two individuals each with a lawyer seeking to secure the absolute best settlement for their client. It is combative, acrimonious and often punitive. Collaborative divorce is quite different. Each party still has their very own lawyer taking care of their interest BUT all parties involved agree ahead of time that the objective of the process is to work together towards an agreed upon settlement.
## It certainly sounds ideal. Is it often successful?
It is incredibly successful but of course that's not surprising when you consider that the process can only be started if both parties agree that they want to resolve their divorce collaboratively. Two people who want the same thing and hire professionals to work together to ensure it happens will rarely be disappointed.
## The two of us just want this business to be easy on the kids. Considering that none of this is their fault.
It's very common for divorcing couples who have children to pursue a collaborative divorce. It doesn't only avoid a lot of the otherwise noxious discord that can spill over onto the children, but it can actually demonstrate that they still have two parents who are able to cooperate, communicate and make lucid decisions together.
## How does the time and cost compare to a conventional divorce?
The cost of a collaborative divorce compares favorably to a traditional courtroom divorce on two counts. First, when you've lawyers working together (as opposed to against each other) the process is naturally a lot quicker which, as a result, billable hours and lawyer fees. Second, you also prevent court fees as the court process is eliminated.
There's no such thing as an easy divorce, but if you are able to agree upon a collaborative process you will certainly save yourself time, money and grief. More to the point you can save your kids a good deal of conflict and confusion and show them that their parents can still cooperate on important issues.
Nowadays there are but three things on which the two of you can positively agree. One: your marriage a decade ago was naive and ill-conceived. Two: you love your kids beyond words. Three: as it stands now divorce is unquestionably the most viable option for everyone involved, including your kids.
It was quite a long time coming and the topic didn't shock either of you when it was finally brought up. What DID surprise the two of you was just how upset the kids were when you separated. In retrospect, you realize just how foolish you were to think that they would take the news with the same sort of resigned acceptance as you did. Let's be honest, they weren't the ones who were unhappy, for you and your husband made a very happy home for both of them.
Now both of you are desperate to get through this as quickly and painlessly as possible for the sake of the kids. Your best friend went through something like this a few years ago; she and her husband opted for what she called a "collaborative divorce." You know very little about New York divorce laws but any scenario that will make it easier on the kids is worth considering.
## Exactly what is collaborative divorce?
Divorce in New York can be pursued by way of either traditional or collaborative means. Traditional divorce has been pictured a thousand times on television and in movies; two individuals each with a lawyer seeking to secure the absolute best settlement for their client. It is combative, acrimonious and often punitive. Collaborative divorce is quite different. Each party still has their very own lawyer taking care of their interest BUT all parties involved agree ahead of time that the objective of the process is to work together towards an agreed upon settlement.
## It certainly sounds ideal. Is it often successful?
It is incredibly successful but of course that's not surprising when you consider that the process can only be started if both parties agree that they want to resolve their divorce collaboratively. Two people who want the same thing and hire professionals to work together to ensure it happens will rarely be disappointed.
## The two of us just want this business to be easy on the kids. Considering that none of this is their fault.
It's very common for divorcing couples who have children to pursue a collaborative divorce. It doesn't only avoid a lot of the otherwise noxious discord that can spill over onto the children, but it can actually demonstrate that they still have two parents who are able to cooperate, communicate and make lucid decisions together.
## How does the time and cost compare to a conventional divorce?
The cost of a collaborative divorce compares favorably to a traditional courtroom divorce on two counts. First, when you've lawyers working together (as opposed to against each other) the process is naturally a lot quicker which, as a result, billable hours and lawyer fees. Second, you also prevent court fees as the court process is eliminated.
There's no such thing as an easy divorce, but if you are able to agree upon a collaborative process you will certainly save yourself time, money and grief. More to the point you can save your kids a good deal of conflict and confusion and show them that their parents can still cooperate on important issues.
About the Author:
Are you looking for a divorce free of bitterness and animosity? Try a Peekskill divorce attorney from the Hudson Valley Collaborative Divorce Association. Let a Peekskill divorce lawyer explain the details of child custody laws in New York State. Visit CollabDivorce-NY.com
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