Friday, March 18, 2011

Stop A Divorce In Its Tracks With These Tips

By Russell Strider


Numerous people find themselves in the distressing position in which they're faced with a spouse who is asking for a divorce. If your husband or wife is asking for a divorce and you wish to find a method to salvage the marriage and stop a divorce from occurring, then you'll have to take some time to really assess the relationship.

Though there are certainly quite a few different reasons why one man or woman in the relationship might be looking for a separation or divorce, it is crucial to recognize that even if an extramarital affair or other person has entered into the dynamics of the marriage, there is still hope. You can actually stop a divorce at any time and reconcile your marriage if that's exactly what both partners really want.

The first thing you should do when faced with the announcement that your partner would like a divorce will be to refrain from overreacting. You really don't want to begin begging, pleading, name calling or belittling; not one of these actions will bring you any closer to your hope of repairing the relationship and preserving your marriage. It can be really hard not to become too emotional, however it is advisable to take a step back and take a look at the marriage for exactly what it really is. Odds are there are actually things that you have said or done which have added to the breakdown of your marriage and these are the things you'll have to work on and assume responsibilty for. Nevertheless, this really is not the time to point out all of the faults your spouse has, especially if your goal will be to stop a divorce from occurring.

Your spouse is probably seeking a divorce due to the fact they feel that they've lost their love for you, or else they feel the difficulties in the relationship are so major that they'll not have the ability to overcome them. Nobody wants to spend their life living in a relationship in which they are really unhappy. So, you will need to find the areas that you can alter in yourself and focus on that, not on your partner and their faults. It's not that your partner has no faults or hasn't contributed to the failure of your marriage; it is simply that you will have to take a step back and give it a bit of time before those concerns are addressed.

Anywhere there was once love, this feeling can be restored. Oftentimes we think we have fallen out of love simply because we no longer experience those powerful emotions we once had. We have slipped into a complacent way of living along with the rut of going to work, doing chores, looking after the children, paying the bills and all the additional regular necessities of life have left you not displaying the kind of care and consideration you did in the beginning. If you can, try and show your partner small acts of kindness. Do not push them into changing their mind, but you can apologize for the things you've done in the marriage and tell them you want to change. Then, do it. Begin working on making those improvements right away and don't throw it in your partner's face, allow them to see your new attitude and behavior as opposed to talking about it. They are going to notice.

Any time you find out that your spouse would like to leave your relationship, or would like a divorce, it is often devastating. Try to remember, there are actually things you'll be able to do to help restore that marriage; but you need to never push your partner farther away.




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