Wednesday, December 21, 2011

How to Save a Marriage: Learn how Conversation Influences Marriage

By Jen Young


Do you want to know how to save a marriage because you're having problems with your marital relationship? Is your relationship growing cold? Are you hoping that things will turn favorably better for the both of you? Do you want to keep your relationship but you just don't know where to start? If you answer yes to these questions, then it is best you learn how to save your marriage using healthy communication.

Achieving right and open communication for married couples mean not only saying what your brain wants you to say but actually making yourself felt by the other person. This means opening up to your partner what you truly feel about him, his peculiar behavior or the conflicts that arise from time to time. However, this must be done in a constructive and calm manner. Humor works well for constructive criticisms, too. Recognizing your partner's deeper feelings nurture intimacy for both of you.

When does open communication play an important role in marriage? It actually begins right before you decide to walk down the altar and made your vows. If you wish to find out the ideas on how to save a marriage, do not ever forget thinking about your financial issues. Finance is one very important topic involved in marital issues. This is even considered as one of the most difficult problems that couples encounter. Speak up about your partner's unsettled financial obligations. Reconciling an impulsive buyer's ways just before getting married is extremely important. It will save you and your family from waking up realizing that one morning there's a huge debt already affecting your savings. If you're planning of ignoring unsettled debts, it will not only haunt you or your spouse but also affect your children's lives in the future.

If you really desire to find out know how to save a marriage, taking time to talk to your partner about your marital issues by using the word "I" can help you keep your relationship. You can say "I am very concerned how your job is affecting your actions towards our kids." Other than that, you can say "Can we have some time to talk about this?" These kinds of statements work well as "You" statements tend to be very controlling. On the other hand, statements with the word "I" concentrates on self-revelation, thus calling your partner to listen attentively to what you need to say.

In addition, asking a favored time to discuss things shows that you're really sensitive to your spouse's needs. Agreeing to talk mutually also proves that you're both committed into solving problems together. This can also help you solve whatever problems that may arise in the future.

Empathizing with your spouse is another way of showing that you are greatly communicating. Carefully listen to what your partner has to say. Provide empathetic statements that are related to what your other half is telling you. Think about responses that will help you assure your partner that you're really learning what he or she is saying. Acknowledge your spouse's statements by saying something like "I understand where you're coming from." This will help you make your partner feel how important he or she is and even lighten up you're his or her feelings. An affectionate hug, touch, sincere look can really help you show how you really empathize with your spouse's feelings.

Other than that, using a shared decision-making process is really important on how to save a marriage. Think through issues and situations together. In case you have problems, come up with resolutions that the two of you are at ease with. Reinforcing this type of decision-making process is a powerful way to strengthen your marital relationship. It also encourages coping mechanisms that would work for both of you.

Don't forget to give positive feedback to your spouse. You can say something like "I absolutely appreciate your efforts waking up early each morning just to prepare breakfast for me as well as for our children. It makes me really feel that I'm not alone in nurturing our family." Such kind of feedback can reassure couples to stick together.

Now that you know some essential principles on how to save a marriage, you should always remember that saving a relationship begins even before your special day. By this we mean that saving a relationship entails mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and even financial preparations. Becoming mature with these kinds of issues will really improve your likelihood of having a delightful marriage bond.




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