Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Truth About Divorces - The Costly Option!

By Dhael Winston

Every year the rate of marriages separation gets higher, probably the most important step after this is finding a good divorce lawyer; they need to have certain qualities including:

* Fully qualified to deal with your case * Have the proper demeanor * Be responsible

You will need an attorney where at least fifty percent of their work is in this area and unless you're expecting problems, preferably one trained in divorce mediation that practices it professionally. All this will be waste if you do not feel you can trust them, so look for a person you feel comfortable with.

Mediation minded attorneys are more likely to give you problem solving advice, whereas traditional attorneys tend to be more oriented to conflict and their advice tends to be adversarial. Some of the work load will be yours so you need to ensure you are well prepared each time you speak with your divorce lawyer and know exactly what they need from you and vice versa.

Plan each conversation by making an agenda and write down the things you want to talk about; take notes on the content of the conversation and the amount of time spent on phone calls. Try to keep actual meetings to a minimum and where points have to be clarified, use the phone or send a letter.

Your divorce attorney is just a resource for legal matters so do not try to get them personally involved as that is not their function; if you need emotional support there are others who can help with this. To get the best out of your divorce lawyer, leave any petty arguments you and your spouse have, aside from the divorce case.

The most important aspect for you to get sorted out is the control of the situation which should be yours and then you will be able to use your lawyer more effectively. Your legal representative must be told up front that whilst his or her advice is essential, all decisions regarding the divorce will be made by you.

You must also let them know that you expect copies of all correspondence to be sent to you for you own records and if you contact them by phone, you expect a reply within one working day.

Don't think that you have to enter into proceedings armed with a lawyer in tow as they aren't always necessary although you may wish to speak to one just for advice on a marital settlement for example. For someone taking this route, it is only important that you approach a lawyer to have certain aspects explained once you have carried out you own research.

It is not uncommon for people to draw up their own marital settlements with the help of a divorce lawyer who is familiar with the case.

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