Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Ways To Help My Marriage

By Marim Undosost


Many partners will look for advice on how to help my marriage. You may feel that your situation is very bleak but as long as both of the individuals in the partnership are willing to work at it, it is possible to save your marriage. With such busy lives, particularly for those that work and having children, actually spending time with your partner can be difficult. You may feel that you two are slowly becoming strangers.

Therapy can be an important tool to helping save your marriage. Many couples do not realize that they need to make time for each other no matter how busy they are. Also learning how to disagree and argue constructively so that the argument does not drag on for weeks is also important. Actually listening to your spouses concerns and issues is half of the battle and I mean really listening and understanding not just pretending to listen.

It is important to help my marriage early. If you let years go by before looking for help then the chances of losing your marriage increase greatly. You also will be unhappier longer and it is better to get help early so you and your partner can be happy. It is also important to edit your conversation. You do not need to say every critical thought running through your head. Instead stick to the important ones and let the little things go.

The tone of voice you use when talking about a problem is also very important. By gently introducing an issue in a calm and not casting blame is a much better way of resolving problems then by being loud and upset and casting blame immediately. If you are calm and collected then you will have a much better chance of resolving the issues without anyone getting their feelings hurt.

It is also important not to set the bar too high, as no one is perfect. Many newlyweds will have high standards for their partners and have difficulty with forgiveness. Being able to be influenced and flexible with your partner will go along way. Many researchers find that men have more difficulty with this then women. If your partner needs some help and you have plans then it will go a long way to change your plans to help your partner. It is not necessary to do this every time but your partner will appreciate it when you do.

The following are some well used suggestions for exiting an argument that can be used to help my marriage and include, stroking your partner with a caring remark, changing the topic, showing signs of appreciation, backing down, displaying that both of you are on common ground and using humor. Instead of dwelling on the problems you may face or have faced as a couple it is important to remember all the wonderful times you have and have yet to have. Being positive about your relationship is important to maintain that relationship.




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