Thursday, January 5, 2012

How To Get A Good Christian Girl To Like You

By Johannes Climacus


Heathens, sinners, and libertines abound our neighborhoods. Without the right skills, you may end up with a wanton woman who gives into her carnal urges. In this letter I'm going to teach how to avoid these women like the Devil himself and give you the skills to find a good Christian lady.

While it might sound superficial, the Lord endowed good Christian women with a few important characteristics. One is large hips. If you plan on having a large brood of God's little treasures, then you need a woman with big childbearing hips.

Some temptresses may pique your interest with their tight-fitting clothes and painted on face. But their dubious values and lack of Christian faith will turn you off sooner than later.

My advice is to go for chastely dressed women who don't wear makeup.

You may be attracted to thin women but I recommend going for a woman with 20 - 30 extra pound on her. This keeps away other men and stops the Devil himself from poisoning her mind with pestilent thoughts.

Rules for your first date with her:

1) Halfway through dinner, go to the bathroom and leave your wallet with her. If she takes any money, she's a bad match.

2) Test her compliance level. You can ask her to hold something. If she protests, she's a little too outspoken and liberal for you.

3) Ask her if she went to college. If she says, "yes," stay away. Chances are that her mind has been infected by the secular and liberal Left.

4) Try to kiss her. If she kisses you back the first date, you're dealing with a loose woman who isn't fit to be your wife.

5) Test her on bible quotes. You shouldn't expect her to recite each one back. (If she does, she's too smart and possessed by a demon.) But if she gets a few of them, then you've probably got a good Christian woman on your hands.

Test out these tips and let me know the results you get. God bless.




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