When you committed yourself to marriage, you bought yourself a ticket for a roller coaster ride that only death can stop. You will go through both exhilarating and sickening periods, bad and good times and bold and cowardly days. As long as you're willing to stick with each other through thick or thin, your marriage will continue to work out. If you don't work it out, you'll eventually go separate ways.
To avoid the reactive question, "How will I save my marriage?" be proactive in handling your union and in keeping your sacred promise. Below are five guidelines on how to put through this proactive approach.
Marriage requires communication.
For any relationship to last, it must have a two-way communication. Intimacy and connection develop from disclosure of thoughts, hopes, ideas and dreams. For it to be effective, one must be able to understand what the other truly means. Listen with your ears and eyes because the real message lies beyond the words. It can be with the tone, with the facial expression and other physical indicators.
Utilize healthy silence.
When both of you are at the height of anger and frustration, you end up saying nasty things to each other. When you find yourself in this kind of situation, just be quiet. Let the negative feelings ebb first; otherwise, you blurt out lines you might regret later. As you think silently, reflect on how you can convey your ideas without hurting your partner's feelings.
Don't let the fire die.
Spend quality time with your partner on a regular basis. If it's alright with your parents or friends, you can leave your children with them for an hour or two. Do things you used to do before you tied the knot. Continue writing love letters, giving gifts and surprising each other. Look at your partner in the eyes once in a while and tell him/her you still feel the spark. Little things like these can prevent you from experiencing the difficult save-my-marriage battle.
Compromise with your spouse.
You will not agree with your spouse at all times. You want to order steak but he/she asserts sweet and sour fish. You suggest you jog together in the park but he/she feels too tired to do it. You want to send your child to a private school but he/she worries about the high tuition. In situations like this, make a deal with your partner. Come into terms and do whatever you've agreed without grudges.
Marriage is an investment.
You get benefits if you treat your marriage as your own business. If you're responsible for it, you'll try out all the options to nurture it. You will ceaselessly evaluate the issues and threats to prevent failure from coming. You will feel proud of its achievements and mileposts too. If you treat it like an investment, you will prioritize it more than anything else.
Don't wait for the day when you wake up with a wretched marriage. You wouldn't want that day to come when you have to undergo the save-my-marriage struggle and feel sorry for being negligent of your partner's needs and relationship's issues.
To avoid the reactive question, "How will I save my marriage?" be proactive in handling your union and in keeping your sacred promise. Below are five guidelines on how to put through this proactive approach.
Marriage requires communication.
For any relationship to last, it must have a two-way communication. Intimacy and connection develop from disclosure of thoughts, hopes, ideas and dreams. For it to be effective, one must be able to understand what the other truly means. Listen with your ears and eyes because the real message lies beyond the words. It can be with the tone, with the facial expression and other physical indicators.
Utilize healthy silence.
When both of you are at the height of anger and frustration, you end up saying nasty things to each other. When you find yourself in this kind of situation, just be quiet. Let the negative feelings ebb first; otherwise, you blurt out lines you might regret later. As you think silently, reflect on how you can convey your ideas without hurting your partner's feelings.
Don't let the fire die.
Spend quality time with your partner on a regular basis. If it's alright with your parents or friends, you can leave your children with them for an hour or two. Do things you used to do before you tied the knot. Continue writing love letters, giving gifts and surprising each other. Look at your partner in the eyes once in a while and tell him/her you still feel the spark. Little things like these can prevent you from experiencing the difficult save-my-marriage battle.
Compromise with your spouse.
You will not agree with your spouse at all times. You want to order steak but he/she asserts sweet and sour fish. You suggest you jog together in the park but he/she feels too tired to do it. You want to send your child to a private school but he/she worries about the high tuition. In situations like this, make a deal with your partner. Come into terms and do whatever you've agreed without grudges.
Marriage is an investment.
You get benefits if you treat your marriage as your own business. If you're responsible for it, you'll try out all the options to nurture it. You will ceaselessly evaluate the issues and threats to prevent failure from coming. You will feel proud of its achievements and mileposts too. If you treat it like an investment, you will prioritize it more than anything else.
Don't wait for the day when you wake up with a wretched marriage. You wouldn't want that day to come when you have to undergo the save-my-marriage struggle and feel sorry for being negligent of your partner's needs and relationship's issues.
About the Author:
Infidelity is among the top divorce causes; you should definitely learn how to spot the clues before it's too late on signs of a cheater. If you feel the issue has went beyond your influence; check out my suggestion for the best expert aid on a review of Save My Marriage
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