Monday, February 6, 2012

Expressing the Issue of Divorce along with your Small children

By March Jay


A divorce can be a awkward time for any family, but communication is very important. The children need to understand that they aren't to blame for what is taking place. They also need to realize that both parents love them and want to be a part of their lives. It will help children to deal with the many changes that may take place with a divorce.

It is a good idea for the parents to take a seat with the children to discuss the issue of divorce. Some parents decide to do this with all of the children at once. Others find it is better to do so with each child one at a time. This is due to age differences as well as the individual personalities of each child.

Down to telling the children about the divorce should not fall on the shoulders of only one parent. A united front needs to be displayed from the start of it. The youngsters will feel more secure hearing the knowledge from both of their parents as opposed to just one of them.

The children don't need to know each of the details of why the parents are divorcing. It shouldn't turn into a blame game where each of the parents tries to get the children to consider their side in the matter. What they do need to know is that their parents will not staying together and how that will affect them.

Give children time and energy to take in the information that is occurring. Even though they likely have an idea that things aren't going well in the home, they may be shocked through the idea of a divorce. Let them know they are able to come to either parent with questions that they may have about it.

It can be a wise decision to have another meeting with single parents and all the children or each child private a couple of weeks later. That will provide the children some time to deal with their thoughts about the divorce. They may be more willing to talk about it now than they were when you first told them over it.

Be ready to offer your children more support during the divorce process. Some children act on in anger because of it. Others many become withdrawn this can emotions. It is important that their needs are addresses as way too many parents are too wrapped up in their own feelings over a divorce to provide their children with the support they desire.

Older children may press to find out more as to why the divorce is taken place. Parents need to have an action plan as to how they will handle such questions. If someone of the adults has been having an affair you may decide it is best never to disclose that information on the children. This is a personal choice that you need to make before you sit down to speak about the divorce with the children though.

Parents have to come to terms with the concepts in the divorce before the children are approached though. The children need to be reassured that they will be fine through everything. That can't happen if they get the impression that their parents aren't okay in what is going to be taking place.

Try to share some fundamental plans with the children also. For example you need to tell them exactly what the living arrangements will be. You also need to let them know when the changes will likely be taking place. This way they can learn to prepare for what is ahead of them.

When students are involved in what is going on with a divorce they tend to deal with it better. They do not feel like they are just being thrown in the middle of what is going on. A divorce is never easy for anyone, particularly when children are involved. Yet it's rather a process everyone gets through if you are willing to put your differences aside and come together to come up with a good solution for everyone.




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