Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Child Custody Arrangements

By Carlton T. Driver

When a couple moves to the point of pursuing a divorce in a marriage where children are present, the most important question quickly becomes evident: Who will get custody of those children? It is often the single most contentious issue in the entire divorce proceeding. In the ideal case, the parents will be able to agree on a shared custody arrangement in which both parents share both legal and physical custody of the children. Unfortunately, this is often not the case - in which other custody arrangements must be explored. The following are some of the more common options.

Let's start with some definitions. "Legal Custody" means that the children's designated guardian (parent) has sole right to make all decisions that affect the children, including areas such as medical needs, education, religious questions, and any legal issues. "Physical Custody" describes the right to determine where the children will live, and to the responsibility for seeing to their daily requirements, including total responsibility for their safety and well-being.

Sole Custody: If one parent is awarded sole custody, that parent has complete responsibility for the children's physical circumstances, and will make all decisions dealing with the matters described above. In come cases, sole physical custody could be awarded to one parent, but both would share legal custody. This situation can come about if the life situation of the non-custodial parent is not likely to be one the children should be exposed to, but the parent is still otherwise fully able to making good judgments about the details of their upbringing.

Joint Custody: In situations where joint custody is ruled, it means that both parents will share custody in some way. Shared physical custody requires that the parents work out schedules that make it possible for the children to split their time between the two parents' locations. Typically, a set schedule is maintained, which will help reduce the stress on the children. This can only work when both parents live in the same vicinity, so that the children can remain in the same schools. When the parents' locations make this impossible, shared physical custody must be modified to take school schedules into account, with visits to the alternate parent limited to weekends and summers.

Joint legal custody is usually a simple affair, as it is unlikely that legal custody would be divided into different domains. For example, it is not likely that a parent would be considered capable of sharing in legal decisions for the children, but not capable of making decisions regarding their medical care.

Bird's-Nest Custody: This is the least common form of custody arrangement, and for good reason. While it is probably the best possible arrangement for the children, it is also the one which requires the most self-sacrifice and cooperation on the part of the parents. Bird's-nest custody refers to an arrangement in which the children continue to live in the original family home, and the parents take turns living there with them. This obviously requires that each of the parents have a second place to live, when they are not staying with the children.

When a divorce is amicable, the parents can both share a single second home, since they would never be staying there at the same time. If they were, the children would also have to be present. For this to work, the divorced parents must be able to cooperate on all issues involving the second home, and they must be able to do this and not find themselves continually arguing about routine problems. Since this doesn't happen in most divorces, setting up this custody arrangement would probably require each of them to have to have a separate second home. That means a lot of extra expense and inconvenience - so it is obvious why this arrangement is not often used.

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