One of the saddest points in a divorce is having to battle over child custody. That is, parents fighting over who gets the lion's share of the child's attention and affection? Living in a time when every second couple we know is getting divorced, these custody battles are usually a very familiar sight. These battles revolve around visiting rights, who gets to stay with the child and who becomes the visitor and so on. It is usually a very distressing deal for the parent who loses the battle and has to adopt the role of an occasional passer by in the life of his own child. It has been seen however, that over time, the concept of child custody, or rather, certain ideas about it have undergone a sea change.
The idea of child custody, just like many other issues, had patriarchal overtones to it right up to the middle of the19th century. It was universally believed then that only fathers could be a true parent to a child. This view could not, probably, be countered, because the impression of women being the quintessential "single mothers" had not yet emerged. But with the turn of the century, common perceptions changed, thanks to the intense female empowerment and emancipation movements. Soon, with fathers spending more and more time out of doors working for livelihoods, mothers were considered to be the more caring and responsible parent.
This has a different effect as well. Soon the fathers began to protest against this maternal bias and believed that they were being unnecessarily being excluded from the lives of their own children, through no fault of their own. They wanted custody of their own children as well. They argued that it was unfair to idealize the maternal love as all powerful and all encompassing. It was generally felt that custody should not be awarded on the basis of gender, but the intrinsic attributes of an individual, like his/her sense of responsibility, duty and so on.
Post the Great War things took a different turn altogether. The arguments considering gender bias were finally paid heed to. Until then, custody had been a completely gender based issue. But now for the first time, the concept of joint custody came into being. Both parents would have an equal share in the lives of their children. There are two types of custody that is legal custody where parents have an equal right to take decisions concerning their children. The second is physical custody where the children divide their time equally between both parents.
Therefore, quite understandably, more emphasis has been given to shared legal child custody and not to physical custody. A general pattern is indicated here. Women, quite unfairly under certain circumstances, are being given more preference when it comes to child custody whereas the fathers are left marginalized in the entire legal battle. In a bid to address such prejudice, men are now willing to take up a number of legal and socio-political actions, thus ending such unfairness for good.
The idea of child custody, just like many other issues, had patriarchal overtones to it right up to the middle of the19th century. It was universally believed then that only fathers could be a true parent to a child. This view could not, probably, be countered, because the impression of women being the quintessential "single mothers" had not yet emerged. But with the turn of the century, common perceptions changed, thanks to the intense female empowerment and emancipation movements. Soon, with fathers spending more and more time out of doors working for livelihoods, mothers were considered to be the more caring and responsible parent.
This has a different effect as well. Soon the fathers began to protest against this maternal bias and believed that they were being unnecessarily being excluded from the lives of their own children, through no fault of their own. They wanted custody of their own children as well. They argued that it was unfair to idealize the maternal love as all powerful and all encompassing. It was generally felt that custody should not be awarded on the basis of gender, but the intrinsic attributes of an individual, like his/her sense of responsibility, duty and so on.
Post the Great War things took a different turn altogether. The arguments considering gender bias were finally paid heed to. Until then, custody had been a completely gender based issue. But now for the first time, the concept of joint custody came into being. Both parents would have an equal share in the lives of their children. There are two types of custody that is legal custody where parents have an equal right to take decisions concerning their children. The second is physical custody where the children divide their time equally between both parents.
Therefore, quite understandably, more emphasis has been given to shared legal child custody and not to physical custody. A general pattern is indicated here. Women, quite unfairly under certain circumstances, are being given more preference when it comes to child custody whereas the fathers are left marginalized in the entire legal battle. In a bid to address such prejudice, men are now willing to take up a number of legal and socio-political actions, thus ending such unfairness for good.
About the Author:
Dennis Gac represents Father Rights Organization which helps fathers to regain their children's back into their custody. If you wish to know more about father rights just visit the website http://www.fathershelphotonline.com and more information about father rights.
2 comments:
Might want to investigate how fathers are being used by a so called documentary film maker who purports to care about them, while asking for money for an upcoming Film Festival, at www.FamilyLawcourts.com
My husband and I fought over our child many times, when really we were just trying to hold onto him because he was the only thing left from our marriage that we couldn't agree on who gets what. After reading Mike Mastracci's book, Stop Fighting Over the Kids I can say this should be a must read to all parents thinking about seperation or divorce, or already in a separation or divorce.
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