Saturday, August 2, 2008

The Truth About Divorces - The Costly Option!

By Dhael Winston


Probably the most crucial aspect of divorce is choosing a divorce lawyer; here's some of the qualities to look for:

* Well versed in divorce law * Have the right frame of mind for this type of work * Be consistent in their work

Ideally your divorce attorney should be spending half their time dealing with divorce cases and preferably one who is a good mediator. They will need to be someone in whom you can place your trust and feel comfortable working with so if these criteria cannot be met then you will need to look elsewhere.

Adversarial attorneys will use the hammer to crack a walnut approach which often happens when these cases go to court whereas an attorney who specializes in mediation will take a much calmer approach. To get the most from your divorce lawyer, be well prepared and have everything written down; do not waste your money and time asking questions, the answers to which are readily available.

Plan each conversation by making an agenda and write down the things you want to talk about; take notes on the content of the conversation and the amount of time spent on phone calls. Try to keep actual meetings to a minimum and where points have to be clarified, use the phone or send a letter.

An attorney does not come cheap so use them only for the purpose you hired them for, legal advice, they are not there as an emotional problem solver, there are other professionals who specialize in that area. Unless you actually want your divorce lawyer to do something about your spouse's behavior or actions, do not use them for general complaints as it is costly and probably won't achieve anything.

You really want your lawyer to know that you are in control and in charge of what is going on and that they are to help you with legal and technical issues and not to get your life straight.

If they are there purely to act in accordance with the legal issue of divorce it will be more efficient utilization of their services and you will be making the decisions. Let them know that copies of any correspondence relating to the case will need to be sent to you along with any other information and if you contact them, to reply as quickly as possible.

Don't think that you have to enter into proceedings armed with a lawyer in tow as they aren't always necessary although you may wish to speak to one just for advice on a marital settlement for example. For someone taking this route, it is only important that you approach a lawyer to have certain aspects explained once you have carried out you own research.

Some people only use a divorce lawyer to re-read and check a marital settlement they have drafted on their own but at least these people have the backup of using a lawyer if all else fails.

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