Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Strategies To Help Children After Divorce

By Bruce Jopples


Divorce can prove to be a challenge for the most mature child. To ensure the damage is lessened it is prudent to ensure that you have considered ways that you can help children after divorce has occurred. In doing this you'll ensure they have been exposed to the right treatment so they can be prepared for the future, limiting any issues that may have been caused the emotional trauma of the situation.

Think about how old you child is and then consider how they are able to cope with changes. There is a tendency in older kids to seem stronger than they really are when this is actually a matter of them being able to hide feelings better, meaning they'll deal with it in more complex ways. Try speaking with them and don't assume you know all the answers regarding their behaviour as sometimes you need to see things from different perspectives.

Instead of focusing on what you are feeling or your ex partner is doing or experiencing, try to retain empathy for how your child or children are responding to things. Watch how they interact with their peers and keep regular contact with their school to see if their progress has been affected in the wake of what has happened.

You are also important so remember to look after yourself. Divorced parents can tend to over compensate and this is not wise. If your emotional balance is not right then it's not reasonable for you to be a role model in this instance for a child. Remedy difficulties in this regard and get help if it is needed for issues troubling you. This will prove beneficial long term but some people can find it tough.

There will often be minor signs of problems arising when they are set the task of adapting to a new set of circumstances and children may display some behavior changes. Be on the look out for these so that you can always be on top of things.

Be careful when introducing new people such as potential new partners into their lives. They may react at first with hostility toward the person regardless of their qualities and this is just one way in which they try to make adjustments emotionally and deal with things which can seem new and frightening, particularly in the mind of a younger child so this needs to be given due consideration.

The feelings of everyone concerned need to be remembered to make sure that children are given the care and attention needed and deserved after a divorce.




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