Tips For Winning Child Custody, Part 1

By Carlton T. Driver

If you are caught up in divorce proceedings, it can be an very stressful experience, even when the divorce is friendly, and not filled with anger. When you have an uncontested divorce, the issues of child custody can usually be taken care of by mutual agreement, without lots of drama and disagreement. When a divorce is contested and filled with anger, however, the matter of who gets to have custody of the children can become a major combat zone. If you should find yourself involved in this kind of situation, there are certain things that you should try to do to help improve the odds that you will be able to win your struggle to be granted custody of your children.

* Be very careful that you don't expose your children to environments that are not healthy, or that could prove harmful to them in any way. If you smoke, by all means stop - at least when your children are around you! If stopping is totally impossible (that is, if cigarettes are harder to give up than your children), then at the least, you must not smoke when you are with them. Not only is it extremely harmful to their health, but your exposing them to a known health hazard can provide a very effective weapon for your former spouse to use against you during the proceedings.

* If you have started a relationship with a new romantic partner (or are continuing one that caused the divorce), be very careful when it comes to open displays of affection with your new love interest. This is vital, for a couple of reasons: one, it can be very unsettling to your children when they observe this, because they probably still have strong feelings of loyalty to, and affection for, your former partner. Two, the court will usually take a dim view of it if children are being involuntary witnesses to a highly sexualized or erotic environment. You most also make sure that you are spending sufficient time with your children to meet their needs, rather than ignoring them, and spending all your time with your new partner.

* Give careful consideration to where your children really want to live. You should be aware of what their preference is, even if it might not be to live with you. Should your children have a strong preference to remain with your opposite partner, insisting that you be granted custody of them can be both self defeating, and damaging to the future of your relationship with them. The only exclusion to this warning would be in a situation where you have legitimate concerns for the safety of your children if they were to remain with your ex - and even in that case, you must prepare yourself for resistance from the children if you win custody.

* Be fully involved, as much as possible, in the lives of your children during the entire duration of the custody process. Doing this will cast you in the most favorable light in the eyes of the Court. If you seem to have abandoned your children to the care of your former spouse, you will most likely lose your custody battle.

* Do your everything possible to hire a very competent attorney who can really help you with your custody case. An attorney who holds your best interests as a top priority will be your best ally in your quest for custody of your children. Unfortunately, finding that kind of attorney is often a real gamble.

Even if you have a top-notch lawyer, you still need to have a second resource available to you. This should be something that can provide an alternate source of necessary information and advice to help you. By having that, if your attorney does turn out to be mostly interested in collecting fees while doing little actual work, you have another source of guidance. Another reason to have an alternative resource - other than your attorney - is that many attorneys are simply not able to keep up with all the newest psychological and legal ideas about custody, as well as the kinds of evidence, and the types of allegations that will succeed(or are bound to fail ) in the courtroom.

The best way to get your hands on this kind of important support information is to obtain a Custody Guide that is written by real experts in the field. Experts who specialize in Child Custody have the experience and know-how to compile the needed information, keep it current, and present it in a way that makes it possible for a lay person to comprehend it, and use it, effectively. There are a number of sources for this type of guide that will help you navigate your way through the often confusing legal landscape that is Child Custody. The links in the resource box will provide further information.

About the Author:

Find out more about the best strategies to use in your custody fight. Receive copies of two FREE reports about child custody by clicking: Free Child Custody Reports. Then, find more resources that can help you in your custody battle at Custody Matters.

Divorce Law - Your Family Lawyer Should Explain The Settlement Process To You

By Billy Bridgington, Chris Collington, Drew Darry

Divorce and family lawyers often get a bad reputation because of a few bad apples looking to squeeze their clients for money. However, there are a lot of divorce attorneys out there who really do care about you, your kids, and even your spouse, and the future of everyone.

A good way to find out if your family attorney cares about you and your life is to ask him or her about alternative dispute resolution (ADR). Many attorneys, though it would behoove them to explain all options to their clients, either completely ignore or gloss over the various methods of resolving a case.

1) Types of ADR.

Mediation. Mediation is a form of ADR whereby the parties (or parties and their attorneys) meet with a neutral third party to attempt to work out the issues in the case. The mediator usually is another attorney, but doesn't necessarily have to be. Mediation is usually a non-threatening environment and can be accomplished in numerous ways. Additionally, the parties or their attorneys can agree on who will mediate the case. If the parties can't settle during a mediation session, they can try again or move on.

Arbitration. Arbitration is when the parties agree that they will attend a session, or multiple sessions, with a third party (often a divorce or family law attorney) who will make a decision on the issues presented. Evidentiary and procedural rules generally do not apply during an arbitration. There are two kinds of arbitration, binding and non-binding. Binding arbitration is when the parties agree beforehand that they will be bound by the arbitrator's decision. Non-binding arbitration is when the parties agree beforehand that they don't necessarily have to comply with the arbitrator's decision.

Settlement talks. Generally speaking, divorce cases can settle all the way up to and through a decision at trial. Therefore it pays to start settlement talks early and often, but this aspect of the family law case is often ignored until the threat of trial nears. Many people involved in a divorce do not realize that they (through their attorney) can begin presenting settlement offers even before a divorce case is filed. This type of informal settlement discussion can be very beneficial.

2) What are the benefits of ADR?

Less stressful. Alternative dispute resolution, where the parties can control the outcome of their divorce or family law case, is a less stressful environment. Trials in court can be intimidating, and often this intimidation factor can sway the outcome of the issues.

Less money. Litigation can be a very expensive process, especially if the case goes to trial. ADR offers a less expensive alternative, especially if the parties are really committed to it. Many people would much rather save their money for themselves or their children, rather than give it to their attorneys.

More options. Usually, the parties in a divorce can agree on things and put them into a settlement agreement that the court may not have the authority to order. For example, in some states, the court cannot order the parents to pay for the college education of their children; however, the parties can agree to provide for college education in a settlement agreement, and the parents will have to abide by that agreement.

The court does not make decisions for you. The bottom line is that parties do not want a Judge who has never met them or their children, and certainly did not live through the marriage, making decisions that will affect the rest of their lives. Through ADR, the parties are in control.

Relationship between the parties. Believe it or not, even though the parties' marriage didn't work out, they can still have a meaningful relationship. This is especially important if there are children involved. Resolving the issues through ADR rather than through trial is an important first step in that regard.

Most divorce and family law cases end up settling. But they often settle on the eve of trial or even at trial. Through advance planning, agreement between the parties, and a common goal of resolving the issues without hotly contested litigation, this trend can be avoided.

About the Author:

Divorce laws vary immensely from state to state. If you are obtaining a divorce in Maryland or Virginia, seek the help of a Maryland family lawyer or Virginia family lawyer.

An Account Of A Family Divorce

By Brandon G. Carlyle

I recently learned of a tragic divorce. A good friend of mine was studying in the pre-med undergraduate program in University of Pennsylvania, one of the best programs in the country. His pursuit of a career in the medical field was met with trials and tribulations, but his family pushed him, supported him, and saw him graduate and enter medical school.

In college, he met a young woman from a well-to-do family who was so inspired by his perseverance that she told him that she would do whatever it takes to see him become a doctor and is willing to support him financially through the process, as long as he marries her.

The offer was too good to resist because this was an attractive, young woman who was so in love with him and was also willing to help him reach his life-long goal. Of course, they got married, and life went as planned for about three years.

Unfortunately, after three years of marriage, the woman's father's business plummeted and hit rock bottom. The father was no longer able to support his daughter and son-in-law. Her response was that her husband should immediately stop his studies and go earn a living to support the family.

With only two years left to reaching his dreams, the husband refused to do so, and he told her that he cannot leave his studies now. He was of the opinion that she should stick to her word and provide financial support until he is able to practice medicine as she said she would do.

Unfortunately, she was not interested in bearing the financial strain on her shoulders for even two years, and she sought a divorce. She wanted total custody of their one child without visitation rights for the father. She also demanded total control of all assets.

He was absolutely devastated because she had proven that her part of the relationship fit her only when it was comfortable for her, and she ended up causing more damage to his studies than actual help. Most of all, he could not understand what he had done for her not to want him to visit their child.

Thankfully, he got the courage to object to this madness, and he contacted a fantastic family court lawyer who took him by the hand throughout the entire case. He went for full custody and won, and today he lives with his parents and his daughter in their home. Hopefully, he will soon finish his studies and will begin practicing medicine in his new home with his child.

About the Author:

Brandon G. Carlyle is the divorce attorney who represented my friend in his family divorce case. For more details about this fantastic Oklahoma City divorce attorney who serves the Oklahoma City area, view the Bumgarner and Goodwin website online. Brandon is an SEO specialist based with SEO services group ClickResponse.